the transformation of a yogi

With the warmth of the sun coaxing me into a state of bliss amongst the conifers and evergreens, I heard a quiet whisper, “it’s okay.”

Eight months prior to this moment I was losing my mind; completely freaking out. “Who would do something so cruel as to drop me here on this twisted planet, naked, starving and seemingly helpless?” Woa was me. I had tried many avenues to navigate this earthly realm and each built up momentum that would quickly dissipate – I was frustrated with this incarnation to the point of exhaustion. There I sat with the ponderosa pines, cursing the stars and singing their praises all in one breath I heard “if you build it, they will come.” Okay, not really, but I did hear guidance to trust the universe and allow my path to unfold in divine order. In that moment I completely surrendered and a few weeks later found myself in a sea of white turbans.

On the most basic level, I came to teacher training to learn how to be present in a world that I had long learned how to avoid. This sentiment was what I meekly shared with a group of strangers; my brothers and sisters of destiny, I was told, in the opening circle. My deeper hope was that in the end, I would be grounded enough to gain footing on the most elevated path possible and be able to extend a hand to others circumnavigating the slippery slopes of the craziness / consciousness polarity.

I was excited to have these tools made available to me, but ecstatic to find them offered within a contained space. When the administrators described the program as a container, I had no idea what they meant. The concept of being in a safe, contained space was foreign to be me. My prior experience of the world had been one of vulnerability and fear. Teacher training was a safe place to open, expand and transform.

Our group was heat-centred and bonded quickly. Going back each Teacher Training weekend felt like going home; the stirred emotions and neurosis flying about the room really added that something special to make us feel like a family. The Sangat taught me “it’s okay” to be here on earth during these crazy times.

At our final retreat weekend on the sacred land of Camp Raj Yog, I experienced living in a conscious communal space. I felt what it is like to wake up before the sun with my dear brothers and sisters and worship the Great Spirit within all. I shared consciously prepared meals with laughter and love, nourishing not only my cells, but their very essence. I shared serene silence and connected with my heart and the hearts of others.

I found out that a conscious community relates to each other through authentic love and selfless service. I realized that our community is a microcosm for what is possible on a global scale. The prospect of that love and support being made available to all beings makes it worth the effort and trials to make conscious living possible for all.

This system is what I incarnated to be a part of, and now that I have confirmation that conscious community exists and will prevail for all of earth’s creatures, I have reason to stay. And until we reach such an existence, I have been given the tools from Teacher Training to uplift consciousness and encourage both myself and others.

Wahe Guru.

- By Seva Simran Kaur (TT level 1 2008)

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